I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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