How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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