I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
