You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I need water and some morals
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
