She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
