One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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