Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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