if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
