the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
