New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
