I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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