just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
