a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
