If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
