I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
