I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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