4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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