my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I deserve this hangover.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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