sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
