Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
how does that bad decision feel?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
