are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Can you bring me the toilet please
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
