It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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