Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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