I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
