My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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