dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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