Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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