you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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