The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
