he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
