That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
