i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
