So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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