just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
