It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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