Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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