this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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