dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Everclear isn't food dammit
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
