alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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