I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
