So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
