Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
