my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
