Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
