I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
organizing the empties. That sober.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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