I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
