operation harelip BJ is a go
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
