i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
