If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
