if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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