Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
