i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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